it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Randomize
