Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
