The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Randomize
