in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Randomize
