I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
i dont even know how to be here
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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