Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
