omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
