Do you still have your period?
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
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