idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
