The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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