He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize
