I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Nicole vs. Life
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Randomize
