i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
