it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
