ADVERTISEMENT

• (540): View more from Virginia

  I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes

  Fav 15 988 1336

  share tweet
  

• (765): View more from Indiana

  he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.

  Fav 22 819 3309

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (203): View more from Connecticut

  This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.

  Fav 23 1740 3834

  share tweet
  

• (310): View more from California

  It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots

  Fav 4 854 1823

  share tweet
  

• (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here

  Fav 2 1403 836

  share tweet
  

• (319): View more from Iowa

  Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.

  Fav 2 1662 700

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (530): View more from California

  for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...

  Fav 3 1488 724

  share tweet
  

• (816): View more from Missouri

  I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.

  Fav 7 722 1220

  share tweet
  

• (817): View more from Texas

  It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.

  Fav 8 726 1030

  share tweet
  

• (218): View more from Minnesota

  My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing

  Fav 0 636 568

  share tweet
  

• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever

  Fav 1 830 359

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (616): View more from Michigan

  Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me

  Fav 3 641 384

  share tweet
  

• (303): View more from Colorado

  I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.

  Fav 1 361 495

  share tweet
  

• (609): View more from New Jersey

  i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.

  (907): View more from Alaska

  you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing

  Fav 1 47 49

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (702): View more from Nevada

  dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms

  Fav 0 49 8

  share tweet
  

Randomize