Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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