Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
