So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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