were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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