Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
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