lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Randomize
