I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
