Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
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