it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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