If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
