I wannas sexs uuuuu
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
