idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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