my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
