He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
