This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Randomize
