with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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