FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
