Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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