I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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