So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
