Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
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