yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
We're using joints as your birthday candles
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Randomize
