I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
