do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
