I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize
