My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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