absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
