In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
She needs sedatives and a leash
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Randomize
