Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
