ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Randomize
