i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
