: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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