haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
