I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize
