He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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