do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
