the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
