After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Randomize
