Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Randomize
