Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Randomize
