Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
