Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Randomize