my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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