hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Randomize
