Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
