My hand turned me down
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Randomize
