i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Randomize
