If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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