No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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