she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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