I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
