I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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