I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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