I love having hate sex.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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