Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Can I color on your dick again?
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize
