hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
