we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
