I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
