you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Randomize
