She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
