Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Randomize
