Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
