she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Randomize
